So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
