Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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