Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
