It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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