your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
what day is it and did you see me today?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
false alarm, still single
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
