her vagine was all disorganized.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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