That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize