She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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