Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
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