New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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