Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize