Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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