i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize