so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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