A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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