I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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