Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
