You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
