he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
