is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
