We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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