It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
