is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
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