Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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