Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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