i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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