I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
