guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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