I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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