none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
