If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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