i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
