My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
