I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize