He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
