What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
