Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Randomize
