Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
