I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
