I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
