You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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