My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize