imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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