Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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