some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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