Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
