When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
