I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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