captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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