Whod you bang
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
