Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
