I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
