4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
