i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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