She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
