elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
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