dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
