so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
