all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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