I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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