I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
