she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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