He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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