This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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