there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I need moral support for this bender
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize