Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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