the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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