I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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