i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
