I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
