It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Houston, we have a blender
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
