SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Randomize