Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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