Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
